Carla (53) is a team leader, has been married to Peter for 28 years, and is the mother of two daughters. She was always the one who managed everything: her full-time job, the household, exercising, and being there for others. That was until menopause began to increasingly affect her daily life.
What started with a few annoying hot flushes grew into something that completely influenced my work, my relationship, and how I viewed myself.
Carla was about 51 when she first noticed changes. Initially, she experienced the occasional hot flush. During a meeting, her face would suddenly turn red, and she would feel a wave of heat. Soon, it escalated to fifteen to twenty hot flushes a day.
The nights were especially tough. “I would wake up at three or four in the morning, drenched in sweat. My pillow, the sheets, my nightdress—everything was soaked. Then I’d take a shower and lie awake for hours afterwards. Sometimes, I only got four hours of sleep a night.” During the day, she tried to push through. “I dragged myself through the day like a zombie.”
Work became increasingly difficult as well. During an important presentation, Carla had a severe hot flush. “I had to stop halfway through. I went to the bathroom, ran cold water over my head, and cried there.”
After that, she started cancelling appointments. She found it hard to concentrate and sometimes couldn’t find the right words. “I was afraid my colleagues would think I couldn’t handle my job anymore. I was deeply ashamed. Looking back, I mostly think: women don’t talk about this nearly enough.”
Her family also noticed how much she was struggling. Carla washed the bedding almost daily because of the night sweats. When one of her daughters once complained about the ‘smell’ in the bedroom, it hit her hard.
The intimacy with Peter also nearly disappeared. “I felt warm, sticky, and insecure. I avoided physical contact, even though I missed it.” Peter cautiously tried to bring up the subject. “One evening, he asked if I might need to do something about my hormones. That was exactly the wrong moment. I snapped at him immediately.”
After the presentation, Carla realised she could no longer ignore her symptoms. When she had another sleepless night, she decided to make an appointment with her doctor. She discussed her symptoms and started hormone therapy. “At first, it felt like a miracle. The hot flushes and night sweats decreased significantly. I thought: finally, some peace.”
However, after a few weeks, she developed other symptoms. Her stomach felt bloated, and her breasts became very sensitive and painful. “That was frustrating. The hot flushes had finally subsided, and then I had to deal with this.”
Carla contacted her doctor again. Her treatment and dosage were reviewed and adjusted. “That really made a difference for me. The bloating and breast pain gradually disappeared, while the hot flushes remained well under control.”
Carla also decided to pay more attention to her lifestyle. She had her vitamin D levels checked, took a closer look at her diet, and started walking daily. She also tried to incorporate more moments of rest. “I was always someone who just kept going. I had to learn that I didn’t have to do everything.”
She spent more time in nature, did relaxation exercises before bed, and tried to breathe calmly during a hot flush. She also learned to say no more often, both at home and at work.
She had many conversations with Peter. “He now understands better what was happening to me. And I also see that it wasn’t always easy for him.”
About two months after her hormone therapy was adjusted, Carla was sleeping six to seven hours a night again. Her energy returned, and after six months, she said she felt like herself again.
“The hot flushes still happen sometimes, especially when I’m stressed. But they no longer control my day.” She now talks openly about menopause with her daughters. “I want them to be better prepared than I was. Menopause isn’t an illness, but I’ve learned that it’s okay to take your symptoms seriously and seek help.”
What advice does she have for other women?
“Don’t struggle through it alone. Talk about it and find support that works for you. And if a treatment doesn’t feel right, discuss it again. For me, that adjustment was crucial.”
Hot flushes, night sweats, and sleep problems can significantly impact how you feel and function. The right treatment varies from person to person.
Carla’s story describes her personal experience. A treatment that works for her may not be suitable for everyone. Do not adjust prescribed medication on your own; discuss symptoms and side effects with your healthcare provider.
