Maud (47): “I suddenly realised: this isn’t just my ADD”

Maud (47) is a mother of two, married, and works as a team leader at a large company. From a very young age, she knew she was a little different from others. She was told she was restless, struggled to sit still, and was forgetful. It wasn’t until she was around 30 that she was diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). With this explanation, she received support and understanding, and was able to manage daily life with its ups and downs much better. Until she turned 40. Everything changed. She became tired more quickly, experienced mood swings, and became overstimulated more easily. “Not like the ADD I knew, but worse. Uncontrollable. And my usual tricks no longer worked. It really made me panic.”

My memory let me down and things at home came to a standstill. My emotions seemed to overwhelm me.

Mood swings, no energy, and forgetfulness

“Things I could normally manage easily suddenly took more energy. Appointments, replying to emails, and meeting deadlines started slipping away from me. My head felt full.” Her partner struggled with her changed behaviour. Especially her mood swings seemed to cause a lack of understanding. ‘You get angry so quickly these days. And then sad again. And then you say nothing.’ She felt guilty towards her family. She had less and less energy, no patience, no sense of perspective. She experienced forgetfulness. She forgot she had rescheduled appointments and who she had called. Then came the realisation: this isn’t just my ADD. It must be something else. 

Everything I had built up in terms of structure felt like quicksand.

Not a personal weakness

After some searching online, she realised it must be menopause. She knew she was approaching menopause and her changed periods were a sign. But she didn’t know how ADD and menopause were connected. “I really hadn’t thought that hormonal changes could have such an impact on my ADD.” What she used to have under control suddenly unravelled. The impulsivity and sensitivity to stimuli; it all became more intense. 

She first tried to sort it herself. Stricter routines, more planning. Eventually, she hit a wall. She had a panic attack at work. In the middle of a meeting. That’s when she knew: I need help. 

She sought help from a psychologist with experience in ADD and menopause. The search wasn’t easy, but she eventually found someone. “And what a relief that was.” The psychologist recognised everything Maud described. “She told me it wasn’t a personal weakness, but a hormonally amplified vulnerability. That many women with ADD completely hit a wall during menopause, precisely because they have kept everything going for years through sheer willpower.” 

The step towards more peace

Together with the psychologist, she looked at what could be done differently. Being less strict with herself, fewer stimuli, and no longer trying to do everything as before. The psychologist suggested speaking to her GP about hormone therapy. Maud seized this opportunity with both hands. She adjusted her diet and lifestyle and after a few months also noticed the effects of the hormone therapy. “What a relief! I started to feel more at ease again and could organise things again. I was as happy as Larry.” She also temporarily reduced her working hours to get more peace of mind. 

How is she doing now?

Maud is now back at work, with clear boundaries. She now honestly says when it’s too much. At home, she has built in regular moments of rest. Her partner now understands more about what ADD does in combination with menopause. There is room again for lightness and tenderness. “I am still Maud. Still chaotic, enthusiastic, intense. That won’t change and I have accepted that.” She gives herself more space to breathe and to rest. “And maybe that’s the biggest gain. That’s how I’ll get through menopause.” 

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