Maud (47): “I suddenly realised: this isn't just my ADD”

From a very young age, she knew she was a bit different from others. She was often told that she was restless, had trouble sitting still and forgot things. For years, things were fine. “It suddenly felt different from my ADD. Much more intense. Unmanageable. My usual coping strategies no longer worked. I really started to panic.” 

“Things I could normally handle with ease suddenly took up more energy. I started to fall behind on appointments, answering emails and meeting deadlines. My head felt completely full.” Her partner struggled with her change in behaviour. Her mood swings, in particular, seemed to cause a lack of understanding. ‘You’ve been getting angry so quickly lately. Then you're sad. And then you just go quiet’. She felt guilty towards her family. She had less and less energy, no patience and couldn't keep on top of things. She became forgetful, forgetting she had rescheduled appointments or who she was calling. Then came the realisation: this isn't just my ADD. It has to be something else.  

After doing some research online, she realised it must be menopause. She knew she was approaching menopause and that her periods changing was a sign. But she had no idea how ADD and menopause were connected. “I'd never considered that hormonal changes could have such an impact on my ADD.” Things she'd previously had under control suddenly went off the rails. The impulsivity and sensitivity to stimuli all became more intense.  

She first tried to solve it herself. Stricter routines, more planning. Eventually, she hit a wall. She had a panic attack at work, right in the middle of a meeting. Then she knew: I need help.  

She sought help from a psychologist with experience in ADD and menopause. The search wasn't easy, but she eventually found someone. “And what a relief that was.” She recognised everything Maud was telling her. “She told me it wasn't a personal weakness, but a hormonally amplified vulnerability. That many women with ADD get completely stuck during menopause, precisely because they've spent years keeping everything going on sheer willpower.” 

Together with the psychologist, she looked at what she could do differently. Being less hard on herself, reducing stimuli and no longer trying to do everything the way she used to. The psychologist suggested talking to her GP about hormone therapy. Maud seized this opportunity with both hands. She adjusted her diet and lifestyle and, after a few months, started to notice the effects of the hormone therapy. “What a relief! My head felt clearer again and I could coordinate things once more. I was over the moon.” She also temporarily reduced her working hours to get more headspace. 

Maud is now back at work, with clear boundaries. She's now honest when it's all getting too much. At home, she has scheduled in regular moments of rest. Her partner now understands more about how ADD and menopause interact. There's room for light-heartedness and tenderness again. “I'm still Maud. Still chaotic, enthusiastic, intense. That won't change and I've accepted it.” She gives herself more space to breathe and rest. “And that is perhaps the biggest win. I'll get through menopause this way.”

Perhaps you recognise some of the symptoms in this story. Are you wondering if you might also be going through menopause? The menopause test can give you an initial idea.