Wies: “The more you know, the easier menopause becomes.”

At first, I thought it was odd that my doctor didn’t see the connection. But dry and itchy eyes can indeed be related to menopause. Oestrogen plays a role in the composition and production of tear fluid. When oestrogen levels drop, mucous membranes can become drier, and the quality of tear fluid also changes.

Menopause can come with such a wide range of symptoms that, in hindsight, I don’t even blame her.

If you don’t educate yourself about it, you won’t know what to expect. You quickly think of hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings, and irregular periods. If you experience those, it’s clear: it’s menopause.

But menopause can be much sneakier than that. Especially on a psychological level, it can strike so subtly that you don’t immediately realise that the difficult situation you’re in might also be linked to hormonal changes.

For example, I was completely out of sorts for a few months. I felt stressed and anxious and had a short temper. Not surprising, since I had just started my own business, and my mother had to move into a care home, which required a lot of arrangements, even though she didn’t want to go.

Anyone would feel stressed in that situation, right? But I had faced tougher challenges before. Why was I so fragile now?

I now know it was due to menopause. So many of my friends have also hit a wall. All of them women in high-powered positions who suddenly experienced burnout. They had always managed to juggle everything—work, kids—and then suddenly, bam.

That’s what the hormonal circus can do to you. But none of my friends thought about it. It makes such a difference when you know what’s causing it. You doubt yourself less and can prepare better.

That’s why my biggest tip is: educate yourself. It really helps. A gynaecologist once told me, “A smart woman is prepared for menopause.” And I completely agree.

I personally found these books very helpful:

• Nice Girls Also Turn Fifty – Dr Maaike de Vries & Dr Manon Kerkhof
• The Menopause: The No-Nonsense Handbook – José Rozenbroek & Jos Teunis
• Heart and Hormones – Dr Janneke Wittekoek & Drs Dorenda van Dijken

Wies Verbeek (58) is a journalist, founder of the website BLOW.nl, and author of the book ’n Beetje Leuk Ouder Worden, 101 verrassende en bewezen tips. She is currently going through menopause.