Wies: "Pelvic floor training also benefits your sex life"

How does it work exactly? Desire begins in the brain, influenced by hormones. When you want to act on it, increased blood flow is directed to the pelvic floor muscles. These muscles contract and relax to further enhance blood circulation.

To be honest, for a long time, I only associated the pelvic floor with urinary incontinence caused by weakened muscles or difficulties with penetration due to excessive tension. That was my frame of reference. Now I understand that these same muscles play a vital role in arousal and orgasm.

Reduced muscle strength and less muscle engagement can make arousal and natural lubrication more challenging. Furthermore, during orgasm, the pelvic floor muscles involuntarily contract approximately twenty times. If these muscles are weaker, orgasms may feel less intense and satisfying. The good news is that you can easily train your pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to greater pleasure and ease during intimacy.

I had never experienced pelvic floor issues before. Urinating, holding my urine, sex—it all went smoothly. But during menopause, I started to experience atrophy (vaginal dryness). The pain caused me to tense up more and more during intimacy, and eventually, my desire for sex diminished.

On top of that, I found it much harder to become aroused, and orgasms felt meaningless. I hated it. Someone suggested I visit a pelvic physiotherapist who specialises in sexual symptoms. At the time, I was already seeing a gynaecologist who was helping me with hormone therapy and vaginal creams.

It was the pelvic physiotherapist who explained the connection between the pelvic floor and sexual arousal. Although my pelvic floor muscles were functioning fairly well, they turned out to be slightly too tense. With a few exercises, which I still practise, I’ve noticed significant improvement.

If you’re experiencing serious issues, it’s not advisable to start using balls or doing Kegel exercises on your own. You don’t know whether you’re dealing with a tense, weakened, or partially tense pelvic floor. Training incorrectly could make matters worse.

It’s better to first visit a pelvic physiotherapist who specialises in sexual symptoms. With a few instructions, you can continue practising on your own. It’s not as though you’ll suddenly have a vibrant sex life again—there’s more to it than that—but it does help.

Wies Verbeek (58) is a journalist, founder of the website BLOW.nl, and author of the book ’n Beetje Leuk Ouder Worden, 101 verrassende en bewezen tips. She is also currently going through menopause.