Michaela (58): on hot flushes, emotions, and the search for balance

Michaela works as a management assistant at a polymer company and is married. Her son (27) and stepdaughter (22) have moved out. For years, she struggled with vague symptoms without realising that the menopause was the cause. Now, she looks at her body with more understanding and wants to encourage other women to take their symptoms seriously, without losing sight of themselves.

Sometimes you just have to accept things as they are, no matter how difficult that is. - Michaela (58 years old)

It started with warmth and emotional highs

“Looking back, it probably started when I was around 45,” Michaela says. “But at the time, you don’t realise it yet. My periods were always irregular, so I didn’t notice it from that. When I suddenly started feeling hot at the oddest moments, sleeping worse, and becoming more emotional, that’s when a light slowly went on.” 

At work, she noticed her body was changing. “During meetings, I would sit there fanning myself with a piece of paper. And as soon as I got home, I would take off layers of clothing, one by one, looking for some relief. I became more easily irritated and had mood swings. Sometimes, my enthusiasm just wasn’t there.” 

As soon as I sat down on the sofa at home, off came the jumper, then the top... anything to cool down a bit.

Brain fog and a short fuse: time for action

About a year ago, Michaela noticed her concentration was slipping. “I couldn’t keep my thoughts together. And at home, I was often short with my partner, even though I didn’t want to be. That was the moment I thought: this has to change.” 

She sought help from her GP and started hormone therapy: a combination of patches and tablets. “The hot flushes disappeared and I slept better. But other symptoms appeared: tender breasts, headaches, nausea. I didn’t feel well. After a few weeks, I decided together with my doctor to stop, because the side effects were too much for me.” 

Openness and kindness: Michaela’s new approach

Michaela wants to show that talking about the menopause is important. “If I get a hot flush during a meeting, I just grab a piece of paper and fan myself. Why make a fuss about it? It’s normal.” 

Although hormone therapy wasn’t right for her, she thinks it’s important for women to know they have options. “What didn’t work for me might be the perfect solution for someone else. Make sure you’re well informed and give yourself time to discover what suits you.” 

After stopping HRT, her symptoms didn’t disappear completely. “The hot flushes have come back a bit, but they’re less intense than before. Plus, I can handle them better now, for example by wearing layers and taking breaks when I need to. I try to be kind to myself. If I’m not at my best for a moment, I call myself to order – but without judgement.” 

Michaela’s tips for other women

Michaela advises other women to definitely give HRT a chance if you have symptoms, but also emphasises how important it is to stay alert to possible side effects. Make sure you get good advice from a specialist and always consult if you have persistent or bothersome side effects, so you can work together to find what suits you best. 

She stresses how essential it is to be gentle with yourself; not everything needs to — or can — be solved. Sometimes, simply acknowledging it is enough. She also encourages talking about it: with your (general) practitioner, your partner, or people around you. You don’t have to carry this alone. Finally, she advocates for curiosity, because what doesn’t work today might just help tomorrow. 

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