Mildred (46) is married, has a son with her husband, and has supported hundreds of women as a midwife during the births of their children. Now, she has entered the next phase of womanhood herself: menopause. “I thought I’d get through menopause easily thanks to my medical knowledge. I never expected it to hit me this hard,” she shares.
Menopause was far from smooth for Mildred. She experienced hot flushes, a decreased interest in sex, vaginal dryness, and extreme fatigue.
My husband was very understanding, but I still felt guilty. My interest in sex had completely disappeared.
Mildred’s menopause journey began with sleepless nights, as she woke up multiple times drenched in sweat. “I had never experienced anything like it. I’d feel cold, then hot, then cold again, and I just kept sweating.”
The hot flushes continued during the day. “I’d feel extremely uncomfortable, my face would turn red and feel like it was burning. Sometimes, when I looked in the mirror, I’d be startled by my own reflection.” She also had little to no interest in sex. “My libido was gone, and I was dealing with a dry and irritated vagina. That certainly didn’t help. I was worried about it because intimacy was really important to my husband and me.”
What concerned her the most? The lack of energy. “Even simple tasks felt like a chore, like lighting candles or unloading the dishwasher. By midday, I was already looking forward to going back to bed at night. It’s hard to believe when I think back on it now.”
Mildred tried everything to alleviate her symptoms. “Half the chemist is in my bathroom,” she laughs. “Melatonin, magnesium, B vitamins—I tried every piece of advice, but nothing seemed to work. Meanwhile, these remedies worked wonders for my friends. I have to admit, that was pretty frustrating.”
When she went to her GP, she didn’t get much help. “He said the symptoms would go away on their own,” she explains. “But they didn’t. I started losing trust and really didn’t know what to do anymore.”
At one point, Mildred discussed her symptoms with a colleague at work. “Funnily enough, we both knew we were going through the same thing. I’d see her struggling with hot flushes, and she’d see me too. We’d laugh about it,” she chuckles.
Her colleague shared her experience with a doctor who had prescribed her hormone therapy. “I had already noticed at work that her symptoms had significantly improved. When she told me about it, I thought: could this work for me too? I started to feel hopeful again, even though I knew it might not work for me.”
Mildred thoroughly researched hormone therapy and felt it might help her as well. She returned to her GP with renewed hope and emphasised her symptoms once more. She explained how her colleague had benefited from hormone therapy and how her own research suggested it could be a viable option for her too. “The doctor took my symptoms more seriously this time and referred me to a specialist. After some additional tests, the specialist prescribed hormone therapy. I was so happy at that moment,” she says. “I finally felt like I was being helped.”
How did it go? “I noticed improvement fairly quickly. After about four weeks, I felt much calmer and more energetic. I had far fewer hot flushes, and I felt like doing things again—including in bed,” she laughs.
I still get the occasional hot flush, usually when I’m very busy or stressed. But they’re nothing compared to what I used to experience.
Her advice for other women? “Sometimes I think: if only I had known about this sooner, it would have saved me so much misery. So my advice would be: don’t let one doctor tell you it’s just part of life and discourage you. Because I can tell you: it’s not.”
Do some of the symptoms in this story sound familiar to you? Are you wondering if you might be going through menopause? The menopause test can provide you with some initial answers.
