Mildred (age 46): “Don't let any doctor tell you it’s just part of life”

Mildred (46) is married and has a son. As a midwife, she has helped hundreds of women give birth. Mildred has also entered a new phase in her life – menopause. “I thought I would breeze through menopause with all my medical knowledge. I didn't expect it to hit me this hard,” she says. 

Navigating menopause was a challenging time for Mildred. With symptoms ranging from hot flashes, low libido to fatigue, it was hard to feel her best. 

From hot flashes to fatigue

Mildred’s perimenopause started with sleep problems. Night after night she would wake up drenched in sweat. “I had never experienced anything like it. One minute I was cold, the next I was burning up and sweating profusely.”  

She began getting hot flashes during the day as well. “I would be totally fine one minute, and the next, my face would be red and flushed. I’d look in the mirror at my reflection, and gaze at the woman looking back. I didn’t even recognise myself.” Another symptom that Mildred experienced was low libido. “My sex drive was non-existent. I also suffered from vaginal dryness and irritation, which didn’t help. Intimacy has always been important to us, so naturally I was worried.”  

My husband was very understanding, but I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I had literally zero interest in sex.

But what Mildred struggled with the most was fatigue. “Doing the simplest things, like unloading the dishwasher or lighting some candles, felt like a massive chore. I longed for sleep from the moment I would wake up. When I think about it now, it feels like a different life.” 

Searching for a solution

Mildred tried everything to alleviate her symptoms. “I have an entire pharmacy in my bathroom,” she smiles. “Melatonin, magnesium, vitamins B. I tried everything but nothing really worked, while it worked miracles for my friends. It was pretty frustrating to say the least.” 

Mildred went to see her GP, but he swept her concerns under the carpet. “According to my doctor the only thing to do was to wait it out,” she says. “But I was hanging on by a thread. I couldn’t go on like this. Something needed to happen.” 

Colleague to the rescue

Mildred talked about her situation with a colleague at work. “I knew we were both struggling with similar symptoms. I saw her having hot flashes on multiple occasions, as she witnessed me going through the same. We’d even laugh about it,” she chuckles.  

Her colleague talked about her experience with hormone replacement therapy, which had been prescribed to her by her doctor. “I had noticed that she seemed better lately. So when she told me she was taking HRT, I wondered if this could also be an option for me. Of course, I didn’t know if HRT would work for me. But it gave me something to hold onto.” 

HRT

Mildred started reading everything she could lay her hands on. Then she went back to her GP to talk about her symptoms. She explained that a colleague had benefited from HRT, and that she had done research and wanted to try it. “I felt that my GP finally understood what I was going through. He referred me to a specialist. After some further examinations, the specialist prescribed hormone therapy. I can’t tell you how happy I was in that moment,” she says. “I felt heard, and that meant a lot.” 

So what happened next? “My symptoms improved fairly quickly. Within about four weeks, I started feeling more relaxed and energetic. My hot flashes reduced significantly and I became much more active, also in the bedroom,” Mildred smiles.    

I still get the odd hot flash, usually when I'm very busy or stressed. But this is nothing compared to before HRT.

Her tip for other women? “Sometimes I think, if only I had known this sooner. It would have saved me so much anguish and suffering. So my tip would be,don't let any doctor tell you it’s just part of life. Menopause is inevitable, suffering is not!”